I’m F**kin’ Perfect!

Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.  ~Rosalynn Carter

OK, so I am not really perfect, but that is the point.  I am f**kin’ perfect, which means I am perfect as I am, and in who I am.  I have my flaws just like everybody else, but if I didn’t stand up and say, “This is me! Love or leave me, but I am who I am,” then I would just be another person floating through life with no real direction or purpose.

This is me:

For the first time in a long time, I look at that picture, and I see me.  I have decided to be who I am, and to stop trying to be who everyone else thinks I should be.  My husband has loved me for who I am, and has seen the real me even when I could not.  So why can’t I love me for me?  Enough of the nonsense!  I am f**kin’ perfect!

This is who I am, the real me:

I am a mommy of an outgoing four-year old, and the wife of a U.S. Marine.  I do not usually talk about my Marine wife title, because I did not want to seem as if I use it to my advantage (as in, gaining sympathy, etc).  However, I am damn proud of my husband, and what he has done and accomplished.  Four combat tours people!

I am a caring, compassionate person.  I would go to hell and back to make sure someone felt worthwhile, like they were important.  I will throw you under a bridge if you degrade, spew prejudice, or just down right demean someone, or a group of people.  We are all equal, we are all human beings, and we all deserve the same respect.

I cuss.  Obviously you can tell that by my entry title.  I am no sailor, but I cuss when appropriate.  I have even used the words in front of kiddo.  Not on purpose, but cussing just comes out sometimes.

I am overweight.  I could stand to lose about 20 pounds, but I just haven’t put in the effort.  I eat when I feel negative emotions, but I am working on it.  I like my curves actually.

I have big boobs, and stretch marks.  I have them on my boobs, my stomach, my thighs, and my sides.  I call them my Warrior Mommy scars.  I think they show character.

I love wearing t-shirts and jeans.  I hate wearing girly clothes, like fitted shirts and dresses.  I prefer a t-shirt with a funny logo or saying.  Oh, and I love my Vans.

I love almost all music, from classical to scream metal.  Yes, I have listened to Britney Spears.  I love Beyoncé, and System of a Down.

I am scared of the dark, and run through the house to my room in fear of a ghost behind me.  The Sixth Sense movie still haunts me.

I am a scatter brain.  If I do not write things down, I forget almost immediately, and then remember days after I am supposed to.

I do not like to smile because of my teeth.  I am always afraid someone will think I am trash and dirty, which I am not.

I have a fear of failure.

I still suffer from PPD.  Four years later, and I still struggle.  I am doing better, but I am not ashamed of it anymore.

I have social anxiety.  I do not like hanging out with new people, or in groups.  I panic, get anxious, sweat, and say stupid things.  I always feel like a sweaty idiot when I get home.

I love my daughter to the moon and back, but sometimes I try to remember what it was like before she was born.

I do not remember a lot of kiddo’s first years.  That doesn’t make me a bad mommy, it makes me a PPD sufferer.

I am not a snob, or a bitch, or uncaring.  My anxiety gets in the way, so I may come off as those.  Give me time, and get to know me.

I am not a runway model, VS model, any kind of model.  I do not think I need to be in order to be an awesome human being.

I care far too much about what people think of me.

I am smart, funny in a corny way, love my family and friends, caring, have a huge heart, and want nothing more than to just be comfortable in my own skin and mind.  I am done worrying about what others think of me.  I am me.  I am f**kin’ perfect.

I listen to the song by the same title by P!nk.  I love this song.  I listen to it when I am down and out, need a pick-me-up, or need a reminder that I am worthwhile.  Enjoy!

I’m linking up with the Be Enough Me Monday link up.  You should too!  What’s your Be Enough story?

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24 thoughts on “I’m F**kin’ Perfect!

  1. As a former Marine (peace time), i too, am damned proud of your husband. But more importantly, i KNOW that the old comment is true – the ONLY thing tougher than a U.S. Marine is a U.S. Marine’s wife.

    F**n perfect!

  2. You are freaking awesome! I am not swearing because I have a teen looking over my shoulder and they will make me put money in my swear jar! heehee!

    You are beautiful and show off those pearly whites! Your smile is gorgeous!!

    I am so glad you linked up with JBE…this is what it is all about.

  3. Awesome, Nicole! I wrote a post based on that song a few months ago too. It really is a great perspective, and I love that you’ve listed all this stuff about yourself. You’re totally on the right track. Acceptance is a beautiful thing.

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