Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence. ~Rosalynn Carter
OK, so I am not really perfect, but that is the point. I am f**kin’ perfect, which means I am perfect as I am, and in who I am. I have my flaws just like everybody else, but if I didn’t stand up and say, “This is me! Love or leave me, but I am who I am,” then I would just be another person floating through life with no real direction or purpose.
This is me:
For the first time in a long time, I look at that picture, and I see me. I have decided to be who I am, and to stop trying to be who everyone else thinks I should be. My husband has loved me for who I am, and has seen the real me even when I could not. So why can’t I love me for me? Enough of the nonsense! I am f**kin’ perfect!
This is who I am, the real me:
I am a mommy of an outgoing four-year old, and the wife of a U.S. Marine. I do not usually talk about my Marine wife title, because I did not want to seem as if I use it to my advantage (as in, gaining sympathy, etc). However, I am damn proud of my husband, and what he has done and accomplished. Four combat tours people!
I am a caring, compassionate person. I would go to hell and back to make sure someone felt worthwhile, like they were important. I will throw you under a bridge if you degrade, spew prejudice, or just down right demean someone, or a group of people. We are all equal, we are all human beings, and we all deserve the same respect.
I cuss. Obviously you can tell that by my entry title. I am no sailor, but I cuss when appropriate. I have even used the words in front of kiddo. Not on purpose, but cussing just comes out sometimes.
I am overweight. I could stand to lose about 20 pounds, but I just haven’t put in the effort. I eat when I feel negative emotions, but I am working on it. I like my curves actually.
I have big boobs, and stretch marks. I have them on my boobs, my stomach, my thighs, and my sides. I call them my Warrior Mommy scars. I think they show character.
I love wearing t-shirts and jeans. I hate wearing girly clothes, like fitted shirts and dresses. I prefer a t-shirt with a funny logo or saying. Oh, and I love my Vans.
I love almost all music, from classical to scream metal. Yes, I have listened to Britney Spears. I love Beyoncé, and System of a Down.
I am scared of the dark, and run through the house to my room in fear of a ghost behind me. The Sixth Sense movie still haunts me.
I am a scatter brain. If I do not write things down, I forget almost immediately, and then remember days after I am supposed to.
I do not like to smile because of my teeth. I am always afraid someone will think I am trash and dirty, which I am not.
I have a fear of failure.
I still suffer from PPD. Four years later, and I still struggle. I am doing better, but I am not ashamed of it anymore.
I have social anxiety. I do not like hanging out with new people, or in groups. I panic, get anxious, sweat, and say stupid things. I always feel like a sweaty idiot when I get home.
I love my daughter to the moon and back, but sometimes I try to remember what it was like before she was born.
I do not remember a lot of kiddo’s first years. That doesn’t make me a bad mommy, it makes me a PPD sufferer.
I am not a snob, or a bitch, or uncaring. My anxiety gets in the way, so I may come off as those. Give me time, and get to know me.
I am not a runway model, VS model, any kind of model. I do not think I need to be in order to be an awesome human being.
I care far too much about what people think of me.
I am smart, funny in a corny way, love my family and friends, caring, have a huge heart, and want nothing more than to just be comfortable in my own skin and mind. I am done worrying about what others think of me. I am me. I am f**kin’ perfect.
I listen to the song by the same title by P!nk. I love this song. I listen to it when I am down and out, need a pick-me-up, or need a reminder that I am worthwhile. Enjoy!
I’m linking up with the Be Enough Me Monday link up. You should too! What’s your Be Enough story?