Today I started to feel really anxious. My body started to feel heavy, and uppity. I found myself getting annoyed, but I could not figure out why. It eventually brought me down, making me feel very depressed and sad. I then started to get angry, but then I realized what triggered it: Noise.
What triggered my anxiety was the constant thumping of the neighbors sub-woofer. The constant repetitive sound makes me anxious, and has since we moved in here, but I just now realized it. With this realization, I started to think of other noises that trigger my anxiety. It didn’t take long, as my daughter and husband were eating. Crunching noises and smacking all do it too. I get incredibly anxious, which in turn turns into irritation and anger. It usually doesn’t take long for the anger and irritation to set in, on top of the anxiety.
Other noises that set me off are repetitive sounds, like the clock ticking, tapping a finger on the table, clicking of computer keys, etc. I can type all day on the computer, but whenever my husband does it next to me, anxiety central brews inside me. The only way I know how to control it is still remove myself from the situation, but then I am away from my husband and daughter, which gets lonely after a while. I can’t escape noises!
I have been trying to think of other things that trigger my anxiety, and the only other one I can think of right now is time. Yes, I said time. I get anxious when I need to be somewhere, or when something needs to be done by a certain time/date, even if said time/date is weeks or months in the future. Every weekday, around 12:30, I start to feel anxious because I know I have to start getting kiddo ready for pre-school soon. Why I get anxious about something so trivial, I am not sure, but it’s a time thing. I am paranoid about being late, not getting her ready and in the car by a certain time, etc. I get anxious when other people do not follow my time preference.
I am in search of ways to control the anxiety. My medication has worked pretty well at helping me control it, but it’s not perfect. My therapist never gave me way to help relieve the anxiety before I left him. I know breathing usually helps, but it just calms me for a minute or two until my mind starts fixating on the anxiety trigger again. Maybe I need to refocus my brain on something else, but then that might make me obsessive compulsive. There is always a fine line between normal and mental illness. I need to find that fine line, and jump back over to the normal side.
I tried making an appointment today for my medication, so I can get a new prescription since I am no longer seeing my therapist. The clinic was closed, so I could not, and I started to panic. My medication will be used up this week, and since they were not the prescribing entity (right word?), I need to make an appointment to discuss the use of it. It’s no big deal, I have been on Prozac through them before, it’s just a pain. Most of the time, I can’t get an appointment right away. The soonest ones are usually 3-4 weeks out. I am not sure how I will cope and deal with 3-4 weeks without my medication, since it’s the medication giving me some grounding.
What do you do to cope with your anxiety? What are some ways you are able to calm, and refocus? I sure could use some tips.