Dear Kiddo: A Letter For Samantha

Dear Kiddo,

I love being your mommy.  You have so much life, so much energy, and so much love.  You have always shown your big heart by being so caring and loving to others.  It’s amazing to me how sweet and loving you can be to other people, even at such a young age.  Please do not ever lose that.  It’s truly a beautiful gift.

You are amazing, and you have saved me from myself more than I can count.  That’s so much for a little person to carry, so I hope you do not ever think it’s your responsibility to keep mommy going.  You just have always had amazing timing when it came to how I was feeling.  Like the time when you grabbed my finger with your tiny hand when I was slipping into the dark thoughts.  Or the time you cried out for me in your sleep when I was wanting to end my pain.  It’s like you knew just what I needed to snap out of it, and come back to you.  I will forever be grateful for you.

I know your life hasn’t always been easy.  I haven’t always been the best mommy I can be.  That’s not your fault though.  I had an illness that changed my behavior and attitude, but that was not who I really am.  I know I have yelled at you for no reason, and have sat around crying.  I also know I still have moments where I get down, or angry still, but I am working on that.  I am getting better, and I can tell you have noticed.  Your behavior has improved so much, and you seem so much happier now.  I think this is a good moment for us.  We are truly becoming who we are meant to be.

You have such an amazing light and energy to you.  You do not find fault in anyone, and believe everyone is your friend.  I hope you never lose that spirit, and I hope someone never takes it from you.  I also hope you continue down the art path.  You love it so much, and I love the smile you get when you’re making something, or drawing/coloring.

I just want you to know how special, and how fantastic you are.  I love you so much, and can not imagine life without you.  It’s not always easy, but life never is.  I just hope you will keep holding my hand, and going through it with me.  You often tell me, “Mommy, you’re my best friend.”  I don’t expect to hear that for too much longer, but I truly feel like we are soul mates.  We were put together to keep each other thriving, and be best friends forever.

You are my heart, and my life.  I love you so much.  Do not ever forget that.

Love you bunches,




11 thoughts on “Dear Kiddo: A Letter For Samantha

  1. I had to read this as soon as I saw the link. It is such a wonderful letter that shows what an awesome mom you are and paints a beautiful picture of your daughter. Perfect.

  2. This is one of the most touching things I’ve ever read. You are such an awesome person Nicole….I agree, you should definitely tuck this away somewhere for her to read when she’s older. You both are such an inspiration. And I can say that I cried while reading this-beautiful!

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