Filed under Vulnerable

Shake It Out

Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues strong It’s … Continue reading

Is It Me? Yeah, But Only Kind Of.

I have pretty bad social anxiety.  I have mentioned in my blog before, but never in detail.  I have been making great strides in overcoming it, which I am very proud of.  I actually took kiddo and her friend to a bowling birthday party last week, and survived!  Yes, I say survived because social anxiety … Continue reading

I’m a Survivor…Most Days.

I really want to get two new tattoos on my wrists, though it probably needs to wait until after I have another baby.  I’m not sure how that affects a fetus, but anyway.  I want to get the word “survivor” on my left wrist, and “hope” on my right.  I REALLY feel like I need … Continue reading

I Survived PPD, But…

I am fearful of it.  I am fearful of becoming a mom for a second time.  Sometimes I am fearful of being the mom I already am. I have always pictured myself having two kids, at least.  A typical, happy family.  Now, I can’t imagine myself being pregnant again.  I do not even want to … Continue reading

I’ve Forgotten How

I am the type of person that loves helping people.  It makes me who I am.  If I can do ANYTHING to help someone, or make their life a little easier, or just give them a smile, I will do it.  My career goals are even focused on my need and want to help others. … Continue reading

She Needs Her Mommy

This is my attempt at putting down my thoughts today in a new form.  I’m not poetic, but I tried.  That’s all I can do, is try. I’m not suicidal, please do not be scared. I will own it and say I did think it would be easier, but the lines in the poem after … Continue reading

My Triggers for Anxiety

Today I started to feel really anxious.  My body started to feel heavy, and uppity.  I found myself getting annoyed, but I could not figure out why.  It eventually brought me down, making me feel very depressed and sad.  I then started to get angry, but then I realized what triggered it:  Noise.   What … Continue reading

The Lowest Point: 1 Month Later

Today is an important day for me.  Not only is it Friday (YAY!), but it is a day of reflection. One month ago today, I wrote about my experience with dark thoughts towards my daughter.  It was really difficult to write about, as I had never talked about it before but with only a couple … Continue reading